I just cannot tell you how proud I am to be part of the adult diaper community.  Yes, there are those that really do bring down this community sometimes but overall I am proud to be part of this community.  In my opinion, we are unique and there is no other community out there like the adult babies and diaper lover community.  You ever get that feeling when you are home alone in maybe just a thick diaper and t-shirt and you walk by the mirror and notice that perfect little “pouch” in the butt of your diaper…you know what I am talking about.  It gives you that real babyish feeling and comforting feeling.  At least for me it does.  And, it just causes a rush of emotions.  It just got me thinking just of how proud I am to be part of this community and how great it is.  Cheesy…I know but its the truth.

There are so many times before I go out with friends that I just get excited about what I am going to wear that night and which diaper I am going to choose…this doesn’t happen all the time but it does happen when I get in those moods.  I cherish those moments.  I guess this is one of those “intelligent” moments I am having where I am trying to articulate somehow what I’m feeling and its not working to well…lol.  Hopefully, some of you catch on to what I am meaning and can make sense of it in your head.  I guess I have sort of strayed from the original title of this article.  But, I was reading over some of the boards lately – just browsing – and you read some idiotic statements and then you read some really calm, intelligent, and concise postings and you wonder who is on the other side of that post because its insightful and intelligent.  I am one who can appreciate those people that manage to maintain such civility in the conversations in the adult baby community because I feel it adds credibility – maybe not so much to outsiders – but to those who can appreciate others acting mature and truly trying to engage in a conversation and make friends and be nice.  There are so many people out there that I feel would be better off if they just tried to act more mature, control their hormones, and act semi-intelligent when they talk and they may just meet some truly nice people and actually make friends.  I am not trying to be mean at all…I just get emails all the time asking what someone can do to meet other people and I am not passing judgment on those in particular people that email me but I know for a fact that some of them have to be these same people posting on these adult baby forums in rude, unintelligible, and narcissistic ways and I just can’t help but think that if they just lightened up a little and acted a tiny bit more mature they may have a chance of making a real connection with someone if that is what they want (maybe that isn’t what they want?).

But, that isn’t to say the intelligent people don’t come without their flaws too.  With intelligence comes that paranoia because they actually CARE who is on the other side of that computer rather than the words on the screen.  So, they are always thinking about who they are truly talking to.  They start questioning every statement, analyzing it, and trying to make offhand judgments based on the words on a screen.  You may think to yourself…well aren’t I judging those adult baby members that talk unintelligible?  No, I don’t judge so much on the words but more than attitudes in those words.  There are some people that don’t exactly type or write very well but you can tell what they really mean and their attitude through what they type…you can see the benevolence in their writings.  But, anyways the intelligent people question everything…as did I along time ago…now I just don’t care.  If you don’t want to prove to me who you are – fine I don’t care.  If you want to lie about who you are to me – that is your free will and I can play along with that if I have time at the moment because it can be entertaining sometimes.  I am not going to get all worked up if someone wants to lie to me about themselves.  I have everything I want in life on the other side of this screen – a loving husband, a home, great parents, great friends, diapers, and more – I don’t feel  the need to judge others and waste my time tracking down who is being honest and who isn’t.  Its unfortunate that goes on in this community but I suppose its a necessity because there are so many people that aren’t truthful about who they are.

Anyways, I know this post is long but its just me trying to articulate things that I think make up a big part of our community and that which makes us so unique.  I will say this – neither group is wrong in my opinion for how they act – they balance the community.  All that I can suggest to the adult baby and diaper lover community that may help us all is to the rude, unintelligible and mean people…maybe try to be a “tiny” bit more mature in your conversations and think about what you say before you blurt it out.  And to those intelligent people out there…maybe just try to tone down the paranoia a bit and enjoy the adult baby and diaper lover community more instead of looking at everyone with a detective eye like someone is out to get you.  Overall, everyone just get along

I am done rambling for the night and I am sure everyone is probably either like wow that was really well thought out or some of you may be like “wtf” or what in the world just happened…lol all views are understandable.  Just in one of those creative typing moods I guess…now that I think about it – it sort of is that time of the month for me – maybe its the hormones making me a bit extra creative?

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I know the intricacies that are involved in running a huge social network are large and probably costly but I think if somebody were to do it right then it really could turn out to be not only helpful for the ABDL community in general but in the end it would pay back what is put into it if done properly.  I think where sites go wrong is they rush to throw up some social network that runs but it runs poorly and hopes that it attracts a ton of users…and when it does the site slows down, problems arise, people leave and the site dies.  That is the typical cycle for a lot of these ABDL social networks.  The one exception really being DiaperSpace and that site still dies sometimes and is slow a lot of times too; not to mention the sketchy ways they inflate their users and they are extremely profit-hungry according to a lot of people.  They are also very strict in regards to things that should be allowed freely on that site.  The site is poorly moderated in general and is just a breeding ground for people to look at photos and stalk.  The owners are purely concerned about the monetary aspect of the site.

A good social network would be willing to put forth the right amount of money up front to get the site in the right direction and running smooth and all that…then, when people start coming and finding out the legitimacy of the site -it grows.  Then, in the end the site owner can not only have a good working ABDL social network but also probably can earn back what they put in through advertisements or other means – which is perfectly acceptable in my mind assuming the site is well run and its main goal is to enhance a “socialness” within the ABDL community rather than just a photo breeding ground.

Its obviously not that easy but its a good general outline I think of behind the scenes what needs to be done to make a good ABDL social network.  Just my thoughts!  I would surely support anyone willing to engage in this.

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The reality of the internet is that there will always be guys posing as women on the internet no matter what community you are associated with.  But, it really is unfortunate for the ABDL community because the fact is that there are a lot of women into the adult baby and diaper lover topic but are either scared off from the community or completely blasted because they don’t reveal their whole life to a male or even another female right off the bat.  I understand the skepticism when it comes to making sure it is a woman on the other end but on some level there should be an understanding of trust and gradual progression.

The reality is that most people in this community will start talking to a girl in the ABDL community and almost immediately start asking them for photos, videos, etc.  Which, some girls don’t have problems with that and some do and the level of photo “showage” will vary between girls.  Some will show their face and some will show just their lower half or whatever.  But, the first thing wrong here is that guys start out with these questions first before even getting into any sort of meaningful conversation.  Its almost like some men are just after photos of women in diapers just to please themselves (not all guys mind you); When most girls are just looking for conversation and true friends online.

Some people have no problem being completely open in the adult baby and diaper lover community but some don’t and would prefer using only bits and pieces of their true life in order to remain somewhat anonymous.  This is where understanding comes into play.  Girls and even some guys would be more apt to share more if people would be more conversative and understanding rather than so forward and aggressive.

I will probably regret this later but I will share my experience…Me being a incontinent girl that wears diapers all day, everyday, really enjoys the ABDL community and loves engaging in conversations that are meaningful and would love to meet people that are actually semi-intelligent and have lives that don’t revolve around everything diaper related.  Of course, in the beginning, I was unsure of the ABDL community when I first got involved and I was not very forward with anything and I didn’t reveal much about myself besides being a girl.  I tried to protect myself by remaining anonymous in the terms of not using my real name.  But, as I got more comfortable I started sharing more and realizing the community can be an awesome place.  I started slowly feeling more comfortable revealing things about myself and giving more and more.  Eventually, starting I Heart Diapers, and I became even more comfortable revealing things within limits.  I give as much true factual information about myself to the point where I feel comfortable knowing I can remain semi-anonymous so that it would not affect my career/life outside of the adult baby and diaper lover world.  I am active in the community, I have dozens of photos all through out my blog showing basically everything except my facial features.  I mean, with all of that, even so much as showing my boobs area and such – people still to this day question that I am a girl, LOL.  Its almost laughable at this point and you learn to ignore it.  I mean I get crucified by some people in this community because I don’t show my face…I mean get over yourself…not all of us are in that position in our lives to risk everything by flaunting your face in front of everyone in association with the ABDL community.

Unfortunately, all the suspicion has caused girls to barely even be able to talk to other girls because of the doubt that exists and is present in the community because there is always this “doubt”.  Unless you are willing to shake your bum on webcam or take a photo with your face smiling with a big wet diaper and a handwritten sign saying “This is so and so…” then there is not much trust unfortunately and any sort of relationship outside of fantasy land is basically not possible because the relationship online can’t get past that barrier because no one wants to participate in the conversation unless what I said happens first.

People in the adult baby and diaper lover community just need to recognize that at least with me – I will always be somewhat shielded because I have a successful life outside of the ABDL community and I protect that.  I will divulge more and what not if I actually were to meet you or have a good friendship.

To make a long story short and to sum up – understand is that there are tons of women in the diaper community and they aren’t going to be as open as you want them to be at first with you.  Just like on a first date, things are awkward and unsure, and you just have to give the person the benefit of the doubt and not act accusatory to them otherwise there will be no hope in any sort of meaningful relationship.

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This leads me into my main point of this post.  Life is too short to waste your time bathing in hate and negativity or wasting the time of your life conjuring up internet supporters for a flame campaign on someone or something.  If a random person were to browse the forums of ABDL sites they would come across a lot of good and helpful information which is awesome; but they would also be able to easily pick out those that seem to be on a mission to be negative about just about everything.  This is an unfortunate formation within the ABDL community.  Small elitist niche groups form and find themselves above others and feel because they believe something or say “it is” then that is how it should be.

I have never once asked anyone nor forced anyone to believe what I believe.  I have never forced anyone to believe that I am a girl.  If you want to believe that I am a girl typing behind this computer than awesome.  If you think I am a guy with some elaborate scheme to waste my life tricking the ABDL community somehow for some benefit – then fine, believe it.  I can only write and share within my limits and what I am comfortable with.  If you find it hard to believe certain things I say or find it “impossible” then I am OK with that.  Life is just too short for me to please everyone.  People are always going to be stuck in their ways and it is just a mindset you have to accept about people.

There are so many wonderful people within the ABDL community that are kind-hearted and supportive.  But, then there are always the select few that recruit a following to support their beliefs.  Which, if you want to waste your time convincing “internet strangers” to believe you or follow you then more power to you.

I am not going to name any names or call anyone out but I will say there are those, sadly they are girls and couples, that form a little friendship group to basically “rule” the ABDL community.  And, because they expose their faces all over the ABDL community and have met “tons” of ABDLs then what they say should go and be taken as fact AND if not then because they have nothing better to do with their time, they will make it goal to bring that person down (nice isn’t it?).  But, hey if your in their group its utopia…..if you are in their group and earn your spot!

I tried maturely contacting one of the people that “flamed” me or whatever you call it since they live legitimately close by.  I tried to clear a few things up and of course she/he sounded up to meeting at some point when schedules allow.  Which I am fine with…but THEN, she/he goes and posts on their small group forum how proud they are they called me out on what their views are and I am going to quote her:

“If we meet and she can prove she is who she claims to be… she will gain a loyal supporter. If she fails, I’ll bury her.”

I did not agree to this meeting to prove anything – I just wanted to make some friends for us.  Ever since moving from Florida we have been busy and haven’t met too many people besides a few people from Peter’s graduate classes at night at NC State.  So, of course it would be neat to meet someone that hopefully is sane and shares the same diaper interest.  But, it looks like all this meeting would be is to “prove” ourselves…and here is the great part – if we don’t – then she/he will “bury me“.  Doesn’t that make any of you want to jump in a car and meet this awesome person?  Though I am still considering it, I was hoping for a little more mature mindset from someone of that age and situation.

My only point here is that there are A LOT of great people within the ABDL community – doctors, lawyers, military, service people, grass-cutters, construction workers, and thousands of great occupations – but, I don’t know why people concern themselves with the inconsequential when life is just so short.  I could worry all day whether some girl across the United States from me is going to believe me or is going to talk trash about me or others OR…get this…I could go to work and talk with my awesome co-workers and earn money for raising a family one day and having fun AND enjoying a healthy social life outside of the internet with real people AND maybe going to see The Time Traveler’s Wife if I can stay awake that late to go see it…all while being positive   I think I will take the latter like I typically do!

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