I know the intricacies that are involved in running a huge social network are large and probably costly but I think if somebody were to do it right then it really could turn out to be not only helpful for the ABDL community in general but in the end it would pay back what is put into it if done properly.  I think where sites go wrong is they rush to throw up some social network that runs but it runs poorly and hopes that it attracts a ton of users…and when it does the site slows down, problems arise, people leave and the site dies.  That is the typical cycle for a lot of these ABDL social networks.  The one exception really being DiaperSpace and that site still dies sometimes and is slow a lot of times too; not to mention the sketchy ways they inflate their users and they are extremely profit-hungry according to a lot of people.  They are also very strict in regards to things that should be allowed freely on that site.  The site is poorly moderated in general and is just a breeding ground for people to look at photos and stalk.  The owners are purely concerned about the monetary aspect of the site.

A good social network would be willing to put forth the right amount of money up front to get the site in the right direction and running smooth and all that…then, when people start coming and finding out the legitimacy of the site -it grows.  Then, in the end the site owner can not only have a good working ABDL social network but also probably can earn back what they put in through advertisements or other means – which is perfectly acceptable in my mind assuming the site is well run and its main goal is to enhance a “socialness” within the ABDL community rather than just a photo breeding ground.

Its obviously not that easy but its a good general outline I think of behind the scenes what needs to be done to make a good ABDL social network.  Just my thoughts!  I would surely support anyone willing to engage in this.

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Understanding a diaper lover really isn’t that hard if you can keep an open mind and be non-judgmental.  The key to understanding is letting go of preconceptions and be more open-minded and willing to understand.  The average diaper lover does not wear diapers or “fixate” on diapers for sexual reasons but merely an object that calms or relaxes them.  I know, personally, that even being incontinent – putting on a diaper has a overwhelming relaxation effect on me and calming effect.  This bodes true for many other diapers lovers.  They are not looking to harm anyone or interfere with other people’s lives.  They do want others to understand and not look at them like a freak.

A diaper lover by him/herself is separate from an adult baby.  Some diaper lovers are adult babies and some are strictly just diaper lovers (DL’s).  A diaper lover merely just likes the act of wearing diapers or participating in diapers while an adult baby enjoys a lot of the “processes” and activities behind acting like a baby outside of diapers.  Many diaper lovers usually have some sort of percentage or degree of “adult babyism” in them.

A diaper lover can be your best friend, a coworker, a boss, governor, doctor, attorney, etc.  You would just never know it because diaper lovers are typically more discreet than an adult baby.  What if you found out your best friend of 20 years wore diapers?  Would you automatically classify him as a freak or would you be a lot more understanding an it not be as big of a deal?  Well, that is how the average diaper lover wants to be looked at from an understanding perspective – they want you to understand them the same way you would if you found out a best friend wore diapers – more respect, more understanding, and more care rather than automatic judgments.

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Wasn’t that a creative intro for posting a photo? Haha.  Anyways, I was told that a guestbook would be a cool thing to add to this blog?  What does everyone think?  I would moderate it of course because of spam and people posting inappropriate things…but, how about something like that?

I have been working on the profiles thing to add to this blog but I am getting problems with it breaking the blog (aka: messing with the format) so I am still working on that with my limited knowledge of HTML and CSS.  But, if all goes well look for profiles at some point soon hopefully!  I really want profiles to come to this blog so I am working hard on it – just got to get the formatting to look right.

Sorry, guys just been busy, tired, and a little sick lately so have to forgive my lack of posting…to those who email me – I promise I will respond, I get tons of emails so I try to respond to most of them as soon as I can!  Sorry, if I haven’t responded to yours yet!

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First, ABUniverse is a small adult baby diaper company.  These are the facts:

1. The site ABUniverse partnered with, no matter how short, is disgusting and contains inappropriate material that can easily be considered illegal.
2. ABUniverse DID partner with them.
3. ABUniverse issued a retraction AFTER people had a problem with the partnership.

These are the facts.  Nobody will ever know whether ABUniverse knew what they were doing and was trying to leach traffic from the disgusting people who visit that site or whether they were just oblivious to what they were involved in.

Either reason presents a problem to me.  First, if they did try to leach traffic from that site to help buy their products then that is completely wrong, disgusting, etc on so many levels and is a serious issue with me.  Second, if they were just oblivious to it then that tells something about their company and how out of touch they are with their customer base (ABDLs).

Some people will say that I just do not like ABUniverse and that is why I am writing an article on this.  But, that is just not the case.  I don’t hate them nor do I think you should not buy from them – but it does give you some choices to make about where you buy adult diapers from and brings into question YOUR feelings on the topic.  ANY COMPANY that did this whether online or in the real world – I would have a problem with them!  I have extremely strong feelings towards this topic.

Sites dealing with children and underage is WRONG, period!  There is no other justification needed.  It is just wrong.  Disgusting, nasty, disturbing, and makes me depressed thinking about it.  So, MY feelings on this may be stronger than many of yours on this topic because I know the harm and impact these disgusting sites can have on people.  Don’t try to justify these sites with your “ageplay” reasons – don’t give me that – it’s WRONG and you know it.  Don’t try to justify it.  There is a line and sites like that CROSS IT BIG TIME.

I think it is great that ABUniverse puts out products for the ABDL community…that is a good thing and I commend them for that.  But, they continually give reasons over time that brings into question their reputability as a company as well as many other things with them.  First, it was poor customer service (seems to be somewhat solved but still have heard of some issues); Second, they were actively on boards posing as customers trying to get people to buy their products (lying); Third, their price of their products is suspect because of how high it is compared to other adult diapers (inflated profit margin); And Finally, ABUniverse now actively engaged in a partnership with a well known site that has disgusting stories, photos, sightings, people, etc dealing with children and diapers.  Those are the facts – people have named some other things to me about them but I will not speculate on those because they are not facts.

Overall, do I think you should stop buying from ABUniverse? No, probably not.  But, should it question where you buy adult diapers from and who you want to support based on your morals and logic? YES, definitely.

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So, you know the chances of you actually spotting a diapered person are quite high when you break it down. Just think about this, when you go to the mall next time on a Friday or Saturday night…I can assure you that statistics show that AT LEAST 1 other person in that mall is wearing an adult diaper…and thats at the least. I may not have some huge calculation to prove it but I can almost assure you that this is the case from what I have seen in the real world and online.

I guess sometimes I get this feeling I am living in a world that a huge amount of people whether for need or pleasure are wearing diapers but yet its ironic because its taboo in so many places. Its not like some small interest group that has some fixation with pinky toes or something…I mean, we are talking about not only the incontinence community but also the ABDL community which encompasses a whole bunch of people. This is just me spoutin’ out random thoughts that I have had and wonder about…so, next time you are out in public, if it makes you feel any better – there is probably someone wearing an adult diaper in your vicinity somewhere! Mind-blowing isn’t it!

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The reality of the internet is that there will always be guys posing as women on the internet no matter what community you are associated with.  But, it really is unfortunate for the ABDL community because the fact is that there are a lot of women into the adult baby and diaper lover topic but are either scared off from the community or completely blasted because they don’t reveal their whole life to a male or even another female right off the bat.  I understand the skepticism when it comes to making sure it is a woman on the other end but on some level there should be an understanding of trust and gradual progression.

The reality is that most people in this community will start talking to a girl in the ABDL community and almost immediately start asking them for photos, videos, etc.  Which, some girls don’t have problems with that and some do and the level of photo “showage” will vary between girls.  Some will show their face and some will show just their lower half or whatever.  But, the first thing wrong here is that guys start out with these questions first before even getting into any sort of meaningful conversation.  Its almost like some men are just after photos of women in diapers just to please themselves (not all guys mind you); When most girls are just looking for conversation and true friends online.

Some people have no problem being completely open in the adult baby and diaper lover community but some don’t and would prefer using only bits and pieces of their true life in order to remain somewhat anonymous.  This is where understanding comes into play.  Girls and even some guys would be more apt to share more if people would be more conversative and understanding rather than so forward and aggressive.

I will probably regret this later but I will share my experience…Me being a incontinent girl that wears diapers all day, everyday, really enjoys the ABDL community and loves engaging in conversations that are meaningful and would love to meet people that are actually semi-intelligent and have lives that don’t revolve around everything diaper related.  Of course, in the beginning, I was unsure of the ABDL community when I first got involved and I was not very forward with anything and I didn’t reveal much about myself besides being a girl.  I tried to protect myself by remaining anonymous in the terms of not using my real name.  But, as I got more comfortable I started sharing more and realizing the community can be an awesome place.  I started slowly feeling more comfortable revealing things about myself and giving more and more.  Eventually, starting I Heart Diapers, and I became even more comfortable revealing things within limits.  I give as much true factual information about myself to the point where I feel comfortable knowing I can remain semi-anonymous so that it would not affect my career/life outside of the adult baby and diaper lover world.  I am active in the community, I have dozens of photos all through out my blog showing basically everything except my facial features.  I mean, with all of that, even so much as showing my boobs area and such – people still to this day question that I am a girl, LOL.  Its almost laughable at this point and you learn to ignore it.  I mean I get crucified by some people in this community because I don’t show my face…I mean get over yourself…not all of us are in that position in our lives to risk everything by flaunting your face in front of everyone in association with the ABDL community.

Unfortunately, all the suspicion has caused girls to barely even be able to talk to other girls because of the doubt that exists and is present in the community because there is always this “doubt”.  Unless you are willing to shake your bum on webcam or take a photo with your face smiling with a big wet diaper and a handwritten sign saying “This is so and so…” then there is not much trust unfortunately and any sort of relationship outside of fantasy land is basically not possible because the relationship online can’t get past that barrier because no one wants to participate in the conversation unless what I said happens first.

People in the adult baby and diaper lover community just need to recognize that at least with me – I will always be somewhat shielded because I have a successful life outside of the ABDL community and I protect that.  I will divulge more and what not if I actually were to meet you or have a good friendship.

To make a long story short and to sum up – understand is that there are tons of women in the diaper community and they aren’t going to be as open as you want them to be at first with you.  Just like on a first date, things are awkward and unsure, and you just have to give the person the benefit of the doubt and not act accusatory to them otherwise there will be no hope in any sort of meaningful relationship.

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This leads me into my main point of this post.  Life is too short to waste your time bathing in hate and negativity or wasting the time of your life conjuring up internet supporters for a flame campaign on someone or something.  If a random person were to browse the forums of ABDL sites they would come across a lot of good and helpful information which is awesome; but they would also be able to easily pick out those that seem to be on a mission to be negative about just about everything.  This is an unfortunate formation within the ABDL community.  Small elitist niche groups form and find themselves above others and feel because they believe something or say “it is” then that is how it should be.

I have never once asked anyone nor forced anyone to believe what I believe.  I have never forced anyone to believe that I am a girl.  If you want to believe that I am a girl typing behind this computer than awesome.  If you think I am a guy with some elaborate scheme to waste my life tricking the ABDL community somehow for some benefit – then fine, believe it.  I can only write and share within my limits and what I am comfortable with.  If you find it hard to believe certain things I say or find it “impossible” then I am OK with that.  Life is just too short for me to please everyone.  People are always going to be stuck in their ways and it is just a mindset you have to accept about people.

There are so many wonderful people within the ABDL community that are kind-hearted and supportive.  But, then there are always the select few that recruit a following to support their beliefs.  Which, if you want to waste your time convincing “internet strangers” to believe you or follow you then more power to you.

I am not going to name any names or call anyone out but I will say there are those, sadly they are girls and couples, that form a little friendship group to basically “rule” the ABDL community.  And, because they expose their faces all over the ABDL community and have met “tons” of ABDLs then what they say should go and be taken as fact AND if not then because they have nothing better to do with their time, they will make it goal to bring that person down (nice isn’t it?).  But, hey if your in their group its utopia…..if you are in their group and earn your spot!

I tried maturely contacting one of the people that “flamed” me or whatever you call it since they live legitimately close by.  I tried to clear a few things up and of course she/he sounded up to meeting at some point when schedules allow.  Which I am fine with…but THEN, she/he goes and posts on their small group forum how proud they are they called me out on what their views are and I am going to quote her:

“If we meet and she can prove she is who she claims to be… she will gain a loyal supporter. If she fails, I’ll bury her.”

I did not agree to this meeting to prove anything – I just wanted to make some friends for us.  Ever since moving from Florida we have been busy and haven’t met too many people besides a few people from Peter’s graduate classes at night at NC State.  So, of course it would be neat to meet someone that hopefully is sane and shares the same diaper interest.  But, it looks like all this meeting would be is to “prove” ourselves…and here is the great part – if we don’t – then she/he will “bury me“.  Doesn’t that make any of you want to jump in a car and meet this awesome person?  Though I am still considering it, I was hoping for a little more mature mindset from someone of that age and situation.

My only point here is that there are A LOT of great people within the ABDL community – doctors, lawyers, military, service people, grass-cutters, construction workers, and thousands of great occupations – but, I don’t know why people concern themselves with the inconsequential when life is just so short.  I could worry all day whether some girl across the United States from me is going to believe me or is going to talk trash about me or others OR…get this…I could go to work and talk with my awesome co-workers and earn money for raising a family one day and having fun AND enjoying a healthy social life outside of the internet with real people AND maybe going to see The Time Traveler’s Wife if I can stay awake that late to go see it…all while being positive   I think I will take the latter like I typically do!

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In reality, every single person has a kink or something strange about them that others will find different that could range from normal to some people to perverse to others.  It is all judgment.  In the case of adult babies and diapers lovers, the reality is that many people find comfort, pleasure, security, fun, enjoyment, and some sexual gratification along with other emotions and feelings mixed in.  This is the reality of the ABDL community.  The fact is that there is a businessman working on Wall Street this very moment (probably a bunch of them) that enjoys cross-dressing or finds it gratifying both emotionally and sexually to dress up in leather and beaten with a whip and chains by a woman or man and yet they are the same people judging others because they enjoy wearing diapers or judging others because they enjoying acting young again.  This is hypocritical and sad honestly and speaks worlds about the mindsets of people.

Bondage, foot fetishes, and even gay sex has become mainstream where it might be looked at as different but certainly not ridiculed as much as adult babies and diaper lovers.  The reality is that nobody takes the time, whether in the media or websites, to try and understand what really goes on in a fetish/interest like adult babies and diaper lovers.  Instead, they pass it off as too strange.  When in reality, I can absolutely guarantee you that 80% of people who tried on an adult diaper would enjoy the feeling or not mind it.  Obviously, it would take an adjustment period but in the end I can almost guarantee you that 80% at least of people would enjoy it and feel a certain level of comfort and security in them among other things.

I am sure there will be not only adult babies and diaper lovers reading this article but also you “other” people who are not part of the community.  For those “other” people, think about in these ways: what if your best friend enjoyed wearing diapers…are they automatically “sick” and “nasty” and you don’t trust them anymore because of this even though you have known them for forever? Or, think about your own kink/fetish/unusual interest and think of if your boss or friends found out about it…would you want them to automatically jump to conclusions about you in every possible aspect of your life? And finally, realize that there are millions of people around the world that enjoy wearing diapers (yes, millions) and do you think they are all bad as well as what do you think the likelihood is of there being someone who enjoys wearing diapers around you (pretty significant chance)?  Like I said, the reality is the stigma of the adult babies and diaper lovers; if people can get past the stigma and realize the majority population of the ABDL’s mindset and reasons then the stigma dissipates and understanding can begin just as with so many other things in history that have become more mainstream and accepted with stigmas such as homosexuality.

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People in the ABDL community range from people who never talk about ABDL stuff to the openly and free people who let everyone know.  Everyone has their identification within the community and own way of representing themselves.  The thing about this logo is its UNIQUE, not completely obvious, represents for the most part our colors, designed well, and more.  If you are more discreet than a possible keychain, pin, or something along those lines is more fitting to you that is not very obvious but you at least feel you are showing some pride.  For the most non-discreet then maybe a bumper sticker, window sticker, t-shirt, or something along those lines.  There are tons of ways of showing your pride that don’t have to be blatant.  But, many say they could do without the diaper on it but then a symbol without any sort of relation to the diaper is not accurate in my opinion.  It is not completely obvious and can easily be explained away.  But, what binds the 99% of the ABDL community – DIAPERS.  Yeh, you have the little girls, little boys, daddies, mommies, diaper girls, diaper boys, and the list goes on.  But, think about it…what binds almost everyone of those subgroups together somehow – DIAPERS.  Regardless of how you spin it – diapers are the common interest and defining point in this community whether you are an AB or DL – diapers are the ultimate babyish item.

No logo or symbol is perfect – but I think this one comes decently close to being somewhat discreet but recognizable in the community.  On that note, myself and few of my ABDL friends will begin a way of promoting this symbol and hopefully the community slowly embraces it.  If not, then so be it…but we are going to give it a try.  It must start somewhere.

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As you can see it is like the shape of a flag.  It has the typical traditional colors of the adult baby and diaper lover community.  It basically translates into “I Love/Heart Diapers” if you couldn’t tell.  It has the “I” and then the diaper symbol is also in the shape of a heart.  I honestly really like the design and can see it catching on.  I can see myself with a sticker or something along those lines or maybe a keychain even.  I don’t know – I like it, personally.  I think the logo represents the adult baby and diaper lover community accurately for the most part but yet it is discreet enough that a stranger wouldn’t be able to look at it and tell exactly what it means or is.

I know there will be some who do not like it or criticize the attempt to make a symbol for the ABDL community but I think we really need one that people know about and can actually recognize and use.  Feedback is welcome and if all goes well then we can take the next steps in spreading it and building its recognition from there.

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