The Reality of Incontinence Part 2

I wanted to follow up on my previous post “The Reality of Incontinence” and add some additional thoughts.  If you haven’t read my previous post (i.e. Part I), please go read that first.

Being incontinent isn’t as bad as I made it out to be.  Obviously, it does have its downfalls but that isn’t to say its impossible to make a difficult situation an easy and sometimes enjoyable situation.  That is precisely what I have done my entire life.  I accepted the reality of my incontinence and turned that situation into a positive.  That is what I would tell people newly diagnosed with incontinence or have had incontinence for a long time.  You have to accept the reality and find ways to manage it and enjoy it, otherwise you are going to go through every day dreading your incontinence.

This is one reason why in the beginning and now I have always chosen to go with diapers.  Besides there not being another way to really manage both urinary and bowel incontinence, using a catheter to me seems unattractive, uncomfortable, and a huge pain.  I know some people use them but they just aren’t for me.  Plus, bowel and urinary incontinence cannot both be controlled by a catheter so its just easier to go with one thing, a diaper.  Diapers to me have never been that big of a deal.  I mean think about it.  What person is going to make fun of you if they know you have to wear diapers for a medical condition?  If there is a person that does that, well then you probably don’t need to associate with them and they are most likely super insecure.

Incontinence has its challenges but with anything, they can be overcome.  You have to plan how you are going to carry extra diapers for diaper changes, changing pad if needed, plastic pants, etc.  No matter where you go!  Out with girlfriends…but only want to carry a small purse…probably not going to happen because a diaper would not fit or take up almost the whole purse.  Thus, many times I am stuck lugging around a huge purse…but hey, there are some super fashionable purses out there that are big…Dooney and Bourke, Coach, what what! Haha.

Its so funny to read about the people in the ABDL community and even in the incontinence community online.  I feel like I am so different than everyone out there.  Like, honestly, if you saw me in real life – you would probably think I am the furthest person from wearing a diaper or being incontinent.  Think…True Religion jeans or Sevens, mixed with some Abercrombie, Splendid, or Michael Stars tops and Dooney and Bourke bag.  I know to most people looking at me that would seem so far-fetched that someone like that wears diapers…and believe me, you can tell by the reaction of some people when they find out.  Its not so much a “Eww” reaction but more like a “wow, I would not have guessed that”.  I still to do this day have never really had a negative reaction to my diapers probably since high school…but come on, its high school.

But, I will use myself as the perfect example.  You wouldn’t think I would be incontinent and wear diapers…that is because I made the best of my situation, still maintain a social life, I am happy, satisfied, etc.  You take what life gives you and you make the best of it.  If life throws you incontinence, well then you wear your diapers proudly and happily

The Reality of Incontinence

I have been living with incontinence my entire life so incontinence is not really a second thought to me.  But, this does not mean that incontinence is all peachy.  The reality of incontinence is that it can be quite a heavy burden and inconvenience if you do not have patience and persistence.  Incontinence can be sudden or a gradual onset and how you deal with either will define your experience with incontinence.  In the next few paragraphs I will attempt to describe not only the reality of dealing with incontinence but also things that can make the transition to dealing with incontinence easier and smoother.

Incontinence from birth is easier to deal with because its all you know and you do not anything different than dealing with incontinence.  You were/are most likely using some sort of protection for a long time so its not a big deal.  But, if you did not grow up with incontinence then coming to terms with the reality of it can be difficult.  As much as many people in the ABDL community would like to be incontinent so they can use diapers 24/7, they make not end up liking the reality of it.  Many people can pretend to be incontinent and wear diapers 24/7, but in those “certain” situations they may not want to wear a diaper or they may not want to mess or wet in a certain situation they are in.  Situations that make people nervous such as office environment, parties, get-togethers with friends, dates, etc.  These situations a lot of times are avoided by people who “pretend” to wear diapers 24/7 because they can cause issues in multiple ways.  But, with incontinence, there is no way out of it – you are wearing a diaper or some sort of protection and that is that.  So, if you are scared to mess in a diaper possibly at work, then incontinence is probably going to be difficult for you to come to terms with.

I am naturally a person who does not care what others think to some degree but that does not mean I am not respectful or smart about it.  Dealing with incontinence and wearing diapers in the workplace can be handled appropriately and not in some flamboyantly obvious way.

Incontinence does not wait until you are away from your friends or co-workers to cause to you mess or wet.  Incontinence does not give you the luxury of controlling how fast or how much you urinate or mess.  It just comes and whatever it is, it is.  You deal with the ramifications of it being too much too quick as it happens.  This is precisely the reason why I choose more quality adult diapers because in the end, you cannot predict whether you are going to go a lot or a little.

It may seem like a neat idea to be totally helpless and to wet or mess diapers uncontrollably to some but let me tell you, a lot of situations arise where it is not so “neat”.  I will give you a perfect example that happened to me a few years ago.  I went out to lunch with some new girlfriends I had met in class in college.  We first went shopping and then hit up some deli style restaurant.  None of these girls knew about my incontinence or diapers as I had not really come to that point of telling them.  So, I had on at the time an Attends with Waistband diaper (this was before Bambino Diapers came along) and no booster.  Well, I had for breakfeast some bran flakes with strawberries in it which ended up being the perfect storm for me.  Needless to say, I ended up completely messing in my diaper at lunch and I hadn’t turned blushed or been emberrassed in a long time but I was super emberrassed.  Obviously, they smelled it and by my reaction and what not could tell that something had happened.  To make a long long long long story short, I had to spill the beans right there at the table about my incontinence, diapers, etc all while sitting in a messed diaper…you want to talk about humiliating.  Not exactly the situation I envisioned telling them.  One of them was actually totally weirded out obviously (eventually came to terms and didn’t care) but the other two girls really were quite sympathetic and felt bad they had even shown a reaction to the smell of the diaper.  None of them disbanded me as a friend or anything, which I was so worried might happen.  But, fortunately, I handled it the best I could and thought on my feet.

I have countless stories similar to this that just happen and you can’t help it.  You learn to think on your feet quickly and react quickly that is for sure.  But, the reality of incontinence is that you have to have patience with yourself as become accustomed to a change in lifestyle.  Its not all peaches and cream with incontinence so be sure to keep that in mind next time you think about wanting to become incontinent.  Obviously, some of you I am sure fantasize about that exact situation I was just in, but let me tell you, being THAT person is not a fantasy you want to live…it was quite humiliating at first.

Saturday Night Boredom

So, it is Saturday night and I am still feeling a little woozy.  I am all alone as the boyfriend is out of town for a couple days.  Just sitting here watching a bunch of love movies, yeh I know, in the end under all my forwardness and opinionated self; I am really a sappy love sensitive person.  I have already rewatched The Notebook, The Hangover (LOL great movie), and currently watching A Time Traveler’s Wife (awww I know).

Anyways, sort of sucks not having someone to change my diaper, honestly.  I mean I do it myself sometimes but I guess when you are so use to someone else changing you, it stinks to clean it up yourself.  Definitely, not easy.  Fortunately, I have had only one big mess to really clean up and I ended up just hopping in the shower to clean myself off because I was getting so frustrated trying to get myself perfectly wiped and cleaned up.  I am a clean freak, so I have to have my butt really clean after a big mess and I could not fully clean it with just wipes.  So, I hopped in the shower for literally 45 seconds and all done!

I know I am rambling but I enjoy spewing off in my blog posts sometimes because I feel like I can always depend on my loyal readers that are so nice to me to listen   And, I thank all of you for that!  You all are the best!

Being Sick in Diapers

I have been feeling a bit under the weather lately.  Yeh, I’ve been sick the past day or so.  I still am feeling the effects of it.  I have been feeling pretty weak to the point I basically stayed in bed most of the day…so that is why I did not post.  Sorry.  Besides the fact that I have been sick, its kind of nice not going to work and just being able to basically just have a diaper on in the bed all day.  Its a relaxing feeling but if you feel like crap being sick it sort of takes some of the relaxing and fun out of it.

Again, sorry for the lack of posting the past day or two, I have just been sick and its been rough…lots of diaper changes to say the least.  Yeh….the messy diaper changes type too….eek.  Graphic.  I told you I wasn’t feeling well.  Anyways, I hopefully am almost fully recovered.  Hopefully, everyone is having a good week!

Wet Diapers and Chafing

One of the most important factors I take into consideration when buying adult diapers is how they perform when it comes to chafing. No matter how absorbent or cute or whatever the diaper is, if it is going to cause chafing then I am most likely not going to use it. I am a very active person and I cannot afford to have chaff problems on my crotch and butt area all the time. Most diapers do OK with not chafing until they are wet. Wet diapers are the epitome of causing chafing problems because that added moisture against your skin plus the continual rubbing of plastic or cloth will cause chafing. So, below are some of my “facts” and tips that I have developed to get a diaper that does not chaff (as much).

Buy adult diapers that do not sag very much when they are wet. Adult diapers have to be supportive, hence why most adult diapers have either 4 or 6 tapes on the diaper because they are there to hold up the diaper and provide support from sagging. In addition, other factors that help prevent sagging in diapers is the core of the diaper. If the core of the diaper is made up good compacted material then it will also help support the diaper from sagging. One of the main reasons besides the features and absorbency that Bambino Diapers are my main diaper is because no matter how much I wet them, they never seem to sag on me that bad. Hence, no chafing! Sagging is one of the number one causes of chafing with adult diapers because the further it sags down, the more its going to rub on your legs and cause chafing.

Buy adult diapers that do not have a clammy feel on the outside of the diaper when wet. Cheaply made adult diapers do not use premium plastic material and instead go for cost-saving plastic materials that do not contain moisture as well. Have you ever wet a diaper and could feel on the outside of the diaper that moisture feel…hard to describe…but, it is like you can almost feel the wetness through the outside of the diaper. You want to try to avoid diapers like these. Preferably, use diapers that use premium materials when making their adult diapers.

Overall, chafing can come down to a lot of things including your body shape, the way you walk, how much you walk, when you walk, how you put the diaper on, how tight it is, etc. But, there are certain things you can do when it comes to buying the correct adult diaper to minimize chafing. But, try a few diapers out and see how it goes. In NO PARTICULAR ORDER, these are the diapers that I recommend that I have found to be good at minimizing chafing:

1. Bambino Diapers
2. Abena X-Plus
3. Tranquility (not very absorbent but have a good fit too them)
4. Depends (probably the worst absorbency but never had issues with chafing)
5. Secure X-Plus

Living in a Diapered World

Do you ever get the feeling that you are living in a world that is more diapered than you think? I know I do and I think many would be surprised how common it may be. Do you find yourself glancing at people’s butts to see if its padded and then getting excited if it happens to be? If you do, you are a bonafide diaper watcher like many diaper wearers. Look at some of the diaper forums sometimes and websites sometimes and see how many registered members there are…it easily reaches into the tens of thousands of members. This does not include guests who never register and just lurk. It really makes you wonder how many adult babies and/or diaper lovers are out there. Take into consideration that many of the English diaper forums like DailyDiapers do not account for the thousands if not millions of ABDLs around the world that simply don’t understand enough of the forum to interact or register. Its a huge amount of people if you really sit down to think about it.

So, you know the chances of you actually spotting a diapered person are quite high when you break it down. Just think about this, when you go to the mall next time on a Friday or Saturday night…I can assure you that statistics show that AT LEAST 1 other person in that mall is wearing an adult diaper…and thats at the least. I may not have some huge calculation to prove it but I can almost assure you that this is the case from what I have seen in the real world and online.

I guess sometimes I get this feeling I am living in a world that a huge amount of people whether for need or pleasure are wearing diapers but yet its ironic because its taboo in so many places. Its not like some small interest group that has some fixation with pinky toes or something…I mean, we are talking about not only the incontinence community but also the ABDL community which encompasses a whole bunch of people. This is just me spoutin’ out random thoughts that I have had and wonder about…so, next time you are out in public, if it makes you feel any better – there is probably someone wearing an adult diaper in your vicinity somewhere! Mind-blowing isn’t it!

Adult Diaper Competition

The competition in the adult diaper industry is more competitive than ever. Competition could not be more noticeable in the adult diaper industry as it is in the adult baby and diaper lover community where each diaper is inspected, criticized, praised, and analyzed to every little detail. Sometimes these analyzations can lead to over analyzing which can cause some major issues in similar/parallel reviews of adult diapers. The big guns in the adult diaper industry such as Secure Personal Care, Bambino Diapers, Abena, Molicare, and Attends try to attract certain certain cliques of the adult diaper users.

• Bambino Diapers
• Abena X-Plus
• Secure X-Plus
• ABUniverse Diapers

Unfortunately, many of the adult diaper manufacturers have started manufacturing their diapers without the ABDL community in mind leaving only a very select few of good adult diapers for the ABDL community to use and even the incontinence community. Attends was once an amazingly absorbent diaper that was soft, thick, and comfortable. Now, they rank up there with depends absorbency (poor) and their comfort is also poor in comparison to what it used to be. More and more adult diaper manufacturers are competing for the “quietness” factor by switching their adult diapers to cloth like outer coverings. This is much to the dismay of adult babies and diaper lovers as many of them like that plastic outer covering which is actually more expensive to manufacture than cloth (cloth is cheaper to manufacture). Even brands like Molicare have created the “breathable” adult diapers which essentially has less padding on the wings which means less absorption unfortunately. What all this points to is a competitiveness for incontinence users that HAVE TO wear diapers rather than those who enjoy the feel of an adult diaper. After all the incontinence community is much larger than the adult baby and diaper lover community.

The competition within the adult baby and diaper lover community for adult diapers is heating up. The main competitors that have come forward consist of:

While there are other major brands such as Molicare, Tranquility, and Attends…they are not actively competing for anywhere remotely the stock of popularity within the ABDL community. Each diaper manufacturer has some huge strengths and some weaknesses…some more glaring than others but nonetheless, they are each competing in some form for popularity. Here are some strengths of each company:

• Bambino Diapers: Known to be the most absorbent adult diaper on the market as well as the softest inner-lining. Phenomenal customer support. Very focused on their reputation and producing flawless diapers. Using cutting-edge materials to add better absorbency, comfort, and softness. VERY focused towards providing products for the ABDL community.
• Abena X-Plus: Known as one of thickest adult diapers because of the added fluff they add to their diapers. Great absorbency. Good customer support. Products readily available in stores. Serious tape problems is their only downside. Their tapes are known for not staying on and popping off easily.
• Secure X-Plus: Similar to the Bambino Diapers features in many aspects. Super high absorbency, almost as absorbent as bambino diapers. Soft and comfortable. Geared towards providing the best adult diapers specifically to the incontinence community.
• ABUniverse (Diapers and Products): Many products geared towards the ABDL community. Trying to create more products on a regular basis. Customer support problems. Good absorbency. Very focused towards the ABDL community with providing a lot of products the ABDL community. Shipping delays can sometimes be an issue with them depending on the time. Prices extremely high. But, you have to give them credit because they are trying to support the ABDL community even if their products are not on the same level as the other companies/products.

Competition is good and should be welcomed because it only makes the companies try to produce better and better products. Its unfortunate that there are really only a few big guns in the adult diaper industry that gear towards the ABDL community. The four companies listed above seem pretty geared towards sticking with plastic-backed diapers (a main staple in the ABDL community) which is a lot more than many other diaper companies can say as they have switched to cloth or are using cheaper materials. I would say Bambino Diapers is the front runner as far as the best adult diaper on the market in regards to features, absorbency, and technology used in their adult diapers…but Abena and Secure are close behind. ABUniverse is competing well especially with their new Cushy diaper but their problem is they don’t have the same absorbency (less absorbent) as the other diaper companies and their price is still too high as well as features are lacking from ABUniverse products. But, hopefully as time grows each company continues to get better and furthers the adult diaper competitiveness in both the incontinence and ABDL market.

My Copyrighted Photos

Just a quick note – if I continually see my photos popping up and being shared on other sites then I will stop taking photos, period.  I take specific measures to clearly state that my photos are Copyrighted and DND.  If some of you want to continually rip my photos and share them then I will easily put a stop to that by not sharing anymore photos.  I don’t mind sharing photos from MY blog and I know some people are going to rip them for themselves somehow but I ask that you not spread them.  If I continually see it being done then I will stop posting photos of myself all together, simple as that.  I know this is by no means the majority but I do not appreciate it when people clearly go out of their way to rip the photos when I have taken certain measures, OBVIOUSLY, to protect them.  Be respectful people, come on.

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